Fade to Black…

It was like any other weekday morning. I awoke before my 5:20am alarm for work. It’s funny how after working for so many years, the body no longer needs a reminder to get up. But why, why do I always seem to get up before my 5:20 alarm? So roll out of bed I do, routine engaged…off to the shower I go, feed the dog, juice & vitamins, coffee, pack a lunch, and finally sit down to eat breakfast while catching up on all of the wonderful and uplifting news on TV, why do I bother? Drama. At 6:30am, out the door and off to work I go. However, that morning was not just like every other Friday of the past 29 years. This day was the last day of my career.  

It’s hard to explain how I felt that day. Pinch me, was this day really happening? What does this all mean to feel the fear and do it anyway, to embrace the unknown, to walk away from something that became my identity, an identity that had run its course, an identity that was longing for change. Flashback. That afternoon, as I stood in the doorway of my office for the last time, a feeling of calmness took over. I heard my inner voice say, “you’re ready,” it’s been one hell of a ride, no regrets, no remorse. Today was meant to be cherished because tomorrow a new adventure awaits. I was ready to start afresh, anew. Choked up, maybe a little, but I walked out with a warm heart, a huge smile, and knowing that everything is going to be “OK”.

What would I tell my 20-something self now? Have more fun, smile, kindness will go a long way, and the mission is not always critical. Slow down, relax and check your ego because in the end, tomorrow is another day and the sun will come up to shine again. To all of those who have supported, guided, coached, and just downright believed in me along in my career, I can’t thank you enough. Cherish. Work is just that…work, it was really all of the genuine people that made this journey amazing. I’m so grateful, thankful, blessed, and humbled that I had the opportunity to meet so many incredible people from around the world.  We are all truly more alike than we are not, and I will always remember those relationships.

50 days until my A.T. step off on 3-22-20, and the excitement is growing as the tinges of uncertainty, doubt, and fear shift effortlessly to positive, motivational energy. Enlightened.  It’s getting real and I’m ready, the pattern is now clear to Be_again.

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