doubt; a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction, feel uncertain about
fear; be afraid of.
Continuous self-improvement is not an easy path. With all the daily distractions, it’s easy to wander from the path. Let’s face it, the world doesn’t stop spinning just so you can focus on your personal healing. However, when we are not at our own divined intention, it’s easy for our personal demons to seamlessly sneak their way back into our lives unnoticed, where they manifest and build up until our own emotion dam breaks.
Dec 1st, 2017, was probably one of the lowest emotional and mental points in my life in a long time. But it’s amazing how the universe presents its opportunities, even at your lowest moments. As my personal demons were slowly gathering on the banks of the emotional river, unknowing to me, the universe was already rallying my personal search and rescue team. Earlier in the week, I was contacted by an old friend of mine who lives out of state, informing me that he was going to be in town and that he wanted to meet up for dinner. I graciously accepted… Also later that week I was contacted by a new friend of mine who started out the conversation with something like this…What would it personally take to make 2018 a great year? He wanted to meet up that next morning for breakfast. Hum…I’m in!
Here I was, just about ready for my dam to break, and two amazing people that are both on personal and spiritual journeys themselves, reached out to me a day apart to get together. Coincidence? I’ll have to say that within those meetings, I had probably two of the most powerful conversations that I’ve had in awhile. I’d love to give you all the details of our discussions, but the combination one-two punch helped me to realize that my dam had slowly filled and that I needed to release some water so that I could get my demons back in control.
Having close friends as an adult has always been a real issue with me as I’ve lived in fear of judgment, skepticism, and disappointment. It was just easier for me to avoid personal friendship. Yeah, that is a whole other issue I’m working on. I am so grateful today that I now have some true friends, old and new, that are also seeking personal enlightenment and growth. Friends that know it’s “ok” for us to openly discuss our fears and feelings without judgment, even when it involves tears and hugs are required. It really was an awakening to understand that I’m not alone in my journey and that many men just like myself are seeking to unlearn who they’ve become as they search to Be_again. It’s nice to know that you don’t always have to hike alone.
As I prepare for my new life journey, I hope to inspire others along the way, on the trail, through my AT journal posts. I’m also super excited to say that my new friend is working to also transition his personal life to follow his dream as an independent filmmaker, documenting personal legacies. How did we ever cross paths to becoming friends, I ask again coincidence? Nope, thanks Universe…Hold on tight, as the story has officially started and it’s going to be a wild, funny, and inspirational hike! I just hope that I don’t get eaten by a bear…LOL.
|Orb! – Sunrise…Brown County State Park, IN.