A Walk in the Woods

As I walk through the woods, I notice that the leaves on the trees are starting to turn into their fall colors. As I walk, I can’t help but notice a few leaves falling softly, and slowly to the ground. Stopping to take in the crisp fresh air, it made me think about the similarities between life and the ever-changing seasons. Every year, the seasons change without a defined start or ending time. Sometimes it’s a fast transition, and sometimes it’s slow. However, it just happens with grace, freshness, and a calming beauty.

As I work to overcome the fear that has held me back throughout my life, it’s evident that, much like the changing of the seasons, it will take many seasons to rewrite my story. Trying to undo everything I’ve learned in almost 50 years, and what I’ve come to believe was the only way to live my life, can’t be accomplished in a single season. Consumerism, society, and the American materialistic Dream has conditioned us to keep believing that bigger is better. We are constantly told that having more stuff and earning more money will gain you respect and, ultimately, make you happier. Fear of not having enough, not being enough kept me from realizing my passions. It is why I dedicated my life to climbing the corporate ladder and living the suburban dream, all while who I really wanted to be got left behind.

Getting diagnosed with PsA was a wake-up call, and just like the changing of the seasons, I feel as if I’m entering a new season in my life. As the colors of my tree change, and I shift my focus away from material things, seek satisfaction in my career and turn inward to my spirit, I intend to live a more purposeful life. I hope to someday hike alongside my fear, and face it head on, as a reminder of who I no longer want to be and to embrace the journey toward who I will be again.