Sometimes You Just Got to Go…

I’ve been struggling a little bit with some of the recent changes in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m feeling healthier, stronger, and I’m learning to enjoy and appreciate life more. My struggle has been more mental.  As I seek to grow spiritually and shift to simplify my life, I’m learning to not focus as much on wants, the things I don’t have. And that it’s not the material things that make you happy, it’s the things that you do have that does. The Intangible things like friends, family, a glowing sunrise, a vanilla sky sunset, a soft warm rain, a glistening snow falling, a laugh, a smile, a hug, a kiss, holding my wife’s hand, all the things that fill the heart and soul with purpose.  How to focus on these things is what has been weighing on me…
Running has been my meditation, my sanctuary, my safe place, a way to search for that how, but since learning about my condition, running has now been my void.  My doctor said that I shouldn’t run, especially long distances, that I should shift to lower impact exercises like walking, cycling, or swimming. I guess she hasn’t read my blog but I’ll give it a try.  I’ve started cycling more and even had thoughts of doing a long distance ride. So I started training for it only to find out that it’s not my passion.  Unlike a 20 mile run, where all I could think about all day was “I can wait to go”, a 20-mile cycle makes me think “I have to go”. Searching for the how while cycling has been impossible for me.

Just prior to my condition, which actually started in the fall of 2015,  I went on a trip with my wife and some awesome friends to AZ to hike 2 days in Sedona and to spend 4 days on the floor of the Grand Canyon, hiking and exploring the falls of the Havasu trail.  We ended up logging 50 miles of hiking that week and the trip was an amazing experience for me.  In fact, I didn’t realize that it was a life-changing event for me. I recently packed it up and, alone, I went camping to contemplate on finding the how. I logged 20 miles of hiking in 3 days, and somewhere along those winding trails, beautiful hollows and trickling streams, I found it!  Hiking is my new sanctuary, my safe place, and a new way to search for the how, all while fulfilling my desire to push and challenge my body, mind, and soul.  I’ve now become obsessed about hiking. It’s all I can think about…Who wants to go?
Now, as I start to write the next chapter in my life, I can only wonder what’s around the next corner, up the next hill, or down that next path. The trail has shown me the clarity I needed, as I shift to fulfill the how.  I now have some big dreams and goals in place, and spending 6 months to thru-hike the 2080 miles of the Appalachian Trail is right at the top of the list. Happy for me is not a destination, but a path and I’ve got some incredible trails to travel. Off to hike I must go…Shift your life, shape your life, everything is possible.  

BE_again  (Once more, additionally, anew)

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